Friday, September 19, 2008

The Kitchen Chair

I sit in silence on a kitchen chair,
end of the day, dinner is over,
dishes are done, room empty.
Leaning on my hand, elbow
on table, I stare off into
a thought...

If I died right now, it wouldn't be so
bad, might even be wonderful.
Wouldn't have to do another
thing, could close my eyes and
never have to open them

I am tired, out of breath...heart pounding
blood through my veins like a run-away
train, straight to the top of my head.

Not that I am suicidal...
just tired, so very

and if I died right now, no more dishes
to do, no more wash, or shopping
or bills to finagle...

I want to slip into a forever-sleep.

My children grown, need me no more, I have
instilled good virtues within and hope that
my voice, my teachings, will carry on...

my head, my eyes, they hurt and how easily
I become winded from just a flight of stairs.
My sight goes black, for a second or two,
when getting up too quickly...I must sit...

if I died right now, I would not have to pick-up
that paper under my kitchen chair...

my back is out, my teeth don't line up, I am
so fed up and tired of all this tiredness.
I force a trip to the chiropractor...

Epstein-Barr is what he found.

Fourteen years and many, many dishes
and tubs of wash later,
I still recall that thought while
sitting on a kitchen chair
in a tired silence.

© Vivian


mariposa said...

I absolutely like this poem. It seems like it has a lot of feeling between the lines - I love poems like that. And the ending makes one think :)

Thanks for the comment on my poem - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And thanks for offering to suggest some poetry workshops - I'll definitely keep that in mind.

Vivian said...

thank you....yes, this carries a lot of feelings between the lines, as it is a true story....and they make for the best poems. Although free verse is a favorite among most....I am a form junkie and love the challenge that writing a form poem gives you.

I am on a few poetry workshops and 2 of my favs are: Bulldog poetry and King know if you join one. : )

Glass Mannequin said...

Do you find that it's easier to write sad stuff than happy? I was reading Edgar Allen Poe and one of the things that I noticed is that for as much gloom he put into words, he wrote just as much happy stuff. I'm a songwriter and I just find it so hard to write happy lyrics.

Anyways, I love your poem. It's kind of soft. Soft but meaningful.


Vivian said...

Hi Glass! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a response. I think it is easier to write misery because when we are hurting and sad, it is a good outlet to write about it. And it seems, misery loves company and sells! : )

My two sons are into music, they have a band ( on and off ) writes music but not lyrics.

I guess lyrics reflect what is going on in your life and heart.
Most of the times I write fiction or nature. Other poems have been my muse. Songs have been my muse. And when my muse goes on vacation....I write a limerick! They are great for writer's block.

Adrian LaRoque said...

I understand your feelings, but imagine the things that will not happen if you die...
Every thing is life is alive and everything is connected to you even if you don't believe it!
Try the dishes another way, (once in a while throw them out of the window), laugh about the bills, enjoy shopping, and make love like it is the last time. Smile…you teeth will line up. Tell the chiropractor to have a face-lift and send him to Florida. Enjoy every single day of your life, write, and take pictures. Look how silly is your neighbor, give him/her a nickname and laugh about it. Once in a while enjoy a good cognac and look how silly are our politicians. Don’t sleep forever! Sleep to rest with the assertion that in the other day you will wake up with a smile in your face, ready to face another wonderful day. Happiness lingers on small things that you take for granted almost every day.

Vivian said...

Thank you so much for all this, Adrian. Sorry I didn't reply back till now.....I was just going back through all my old posted poems, because for some reason, I do not get email notifications telling me I got a comment on my blog here.

Thank God my Espstein Barr is in remission now. Now I can run, jump, laugh, write, take photos and be silly! waaaahoooo!